A Baby Changes Everything
Friday, April 27, 2012
Why is it that the moment you get married, people want to know when you are going to have a baby? I mean, do they seriously think you are going to pull the goalie right away and give away your newlywed rights? No. At least not for us. I guess I just don't get it and probably never will, but why is it okay to badger a newly married couple about when they are going to start a family? The funny part about this, is that the people who are asking us are not even close family or friends. They are people I barely know and people that don't understand my life at all.
I don't condone having a baby right after when you get married, but really, I think every couple can benefit from having "personal time" before they expand their family. I know many family members, friends, and bloggers who chose to start families right away, which is great for them and I am enjoy reading about their new chapter of life. But, it's not what we want and it's not something we are thinking about anytime soon.
I like this quote from Ellen (can you tell I love Ellen?). When people ask her if she and Portia are going to have kids she says, "You know, Portia and I really thought about it, but we have too much breakable glass in our house." Can I just say that as selfish as this sounds, it's so incredibly true? I mean, I think Joel and I are definitely thinking this way right now. We enjoy our free time, time together, and sleeping late mornings way too much to even think that we could handle this right now. We have so much we want to do before we expand our family. I mean, Joel and I love to travel and we want to go to Africa and Egypt...that's no place for a baby or expectant woman. You see what I mean? My priorities are not in line yet at all.
Now, I know your next question. Accidents. Yes, I know there are "accidents" all the time and your probably thinking we'd never be able to handle it if it happened, but that's a lie. Joel and I talk about children seriously, almost tri weekly (is that a term?). But really, we do. We always are talking about our future and what we will do if something "out of plan happened," and trust me, we'd take anything God hands us and be grateful for children no matter when they are given to us. Am I convincing you that I'm not crazy?
My next point, Baby Fever. Yes, I have it, all the time actually. I can tell the difference between a Bugaboo and a Britaxx. Plus, pinterest doesn't help one bit. I mean come on, they make having a baby look glamorous! I like looking at baby sites quite often. But, I think it's completely natural of all women to do so. Many won't admit it, but they know more about babies then they probably lead on. For instance, I find myself youtubing water births quite often because I am bored and curious. I am naturally excited for this day. But, I can tell the difference between something that is infatuated and something that is real. And believe me, I can snap myself out of this thing real quick!
Although I am curious about a baby and envision my life with one quite often, I know that I would not intentionally have one right now. In case you are new and don't know, but my husband is in medical school and I am the only one working (hello breadwinner!) Even though financially we would not want a baby, mentally we don't want a baby. A baby is a huge responsibility and you are dedicated this child for the rest of it's life. And also, even though you say you want ONE baby, sometimes people get THREE, FOUR, and FIVE babies. That's not something I want to play with right now. Especially since twins run in my family, and I'm basically the last family member who hasn't had twins yet, it's like expected of me, okay. My mom had two sets of twin brothers!
This was one of my longer posts, are you still here? If so, thanks for reading. Your really do rock, if you read the whole thing. So, a huge thank you !