The Choices You Make

Friday, March 14, 2014


Have you ever made a big life decision and never looked back? Well, I/we did. Almost 3 years ago my husband and I chose to move to Birmingham, Alabama which is 5-6 hours away from our family and friends. We were excited, nervous, and scared. We did not know a soul and only had a few months to move, find a place, and start our lives. In the midst of our move we graduated college, got married, went on a honeymoon, and my husband began medical school. We've since made lots of friends, moved out of a teeny apartment and into a house, had a baby, and I began life as a stay at home mom.

While I was visiting home this past week I had a pretty emotional moment where I realized everything I had given up. It was during a stroll in uptown New Orleans' City Park where we fed ducks, let Scarlett swing, strolled in the park, took pictures, listened to a live jazz band, ate beignets, and most importantly did all of this with my parents. I went to use the restroom and on my way there I had a moment and the tears just started flowing. I was in the stall just so upset thinking how this would be my life right now. I'd be taking Scarlett to this park, meeting my parents for lunch, feeding these ducks all on a regular basis. I got back to the table and tried to keep it all in, but it was hard. I was enjoying the day and didn't want to upset anyone else. New Orleans is my home, and there really is no other place like it. The sense of true southern hospitality, live talent in the streets, good food, and sense of community is unwavering compared to other places I have visited. That is exactly why our transition was so hard in the beginning.


I texted Joel immediately and let him know about the battle I was facing and he made me feel better. We are truly happy in Birmingham, and since having Scarlett we've adjusted to life here in such a wonderful way. Before she was born we often felt disconnected, but doing family oriented activities and meeting friends with babies has made our life here much more enjoyable. We are so grateful for new friends who we've even become inseparable with, and they have made us feel like family.

It was a moment of truth, maybe a moment of weakness, and it was hard to go through those tough emotions. For a second I wanted to tell Joel, "Let's go back home for your residency" but I had to snap myself out of it and remember what our goals and dreams are as a family. We have no idea where we will be in a year and that is scary. Thinking that we may leave Birmingham, a place we've started a family at, and start all over again in a new state/city. I chose this life with Joel, to support him and carry him through his medical career, but it is not an easy road and I am still learning.

I know that God has a plan, and it is far better than the one I had in mind. I know we are here in Birmingham for a reason and wherever we go next will serve a purpose as well, but at times it is very hard to see, especially when you are strolling through your hometown on a beautiful day with your family who you miss everyday.

This was on my heart today and I felt inclined to share since it happened. Does anyone else have a relatable story? I am always inspired by other stories of people who are going through similar things.
Happy Friday and have a wonderful weekend!! 


16 comments:

  1. i wish i could put my arms around you and thank you! my husband is in his first year of residency for orthopedic surgery in philadelphia. we left our families in sweet southern North Carolina to move to Virginia for his medical school, where we also had our baby girl during his 3rd year. we just had our second baby girl last month and we have loved every minute of parenthood. i truly sympathize with you, and i too miss my family daily. i so wish we could have returned to NC for residency, and its scary thinking that we have 4 more years until we get back down south! i know it is scary and lonely but continue trusting God's plan. and know that there are SEVERAL of us just like you. medicine is a different life but you will thrive!

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  2. I can totally relate as well! My husband and I moved to Texas from Florida ( where my family is) and found out we were expecting our first child a month after we moved. It makes me sad that we won't be so close to my family but I know God has a plan for this adventure in our life!

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  3. Thank you for writing this - I battle with this a lot. As you might remember I am a transplant in Florence, AL from Maryland. I go home maybe once a year, sometimes twice to visit my father, and friends. It's hard. I can see us having a great life there, but I also love my life in Florence. The friends I've made the life I've created as an adult. It's all so new, and different. I know a child will change that. We will start our own little world I just hate missing out on the world back home too. You aren't alone and I'm so happy you have an amazing support system in your corner! ox

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  4. I can totally relate! My husband and I moved to Abu Dhabi(!) for his job less than a year after getting married. It was just the two of us against the world in a country where we didn't know a soul. It was tough in the beginning, but it made us so much closer as a couple as we had only each other to rely on in those early days. We live in DC now with our 16 month old daughter, and all of our family lives in upstate NY. It is so hard to be that far from family! Especially seeing how much time my sister and her daughter (who still live near my parents) get to spend with my family. We are moving overseas again this summer and will have to go through that whole transition again, this time with a toddler. I am excited yet dreading it all at the same time. I can't tell you how many times I have thought how much easier our lives would be if we lived right down the street from family, in the town we grew up in. Yet I always stop myself and remember all of the amazing things we have done because of the career path my husband has chosen and all of the experiences our children will have because of it! Sending hugs to you today! xx Erin

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  5. I can relate too! As an Army wife, we are always moving and never know where or for how long until a few months before the move. However, each one has gotten a little easier and Kev and I are so strong as a couple because those first few years we had each other (and then the boys) and no one else. Now that we are 'home' near our families, it is really nice, but we are already looking forward to our next adventure too. I do know there were many times, especially in Monterey where I wished our family was close, so we are definitely not taking it for granted now.

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  6. My husband and I moved from Missouri to Mississippi in 2011 due to his job. It was honestly hard, especially when we celebrated our engagement, wedding, and now our pregnancy without being near family. It has hit me a lot harder recently, that our child is going to live 10 hours away from their grandparents, and that they'll only get to see them maybe once or twice a year. It makes me so sad that our baby will miss out on all of the wonderful things my husband and I love in Missouri, and it also makes me said that our parents are going to miss out on watching their grandchild grow.

    But, on the flip side, moving made my husband and I grow up. Like I said, we moved, got engaged, bought a house and a new car, got married, and are now pregnant all in 3 years with no help from anyone else. We're so much closer because we've had to lean on each other through everything. It's also made both of us come out of our shells because we've had to be more outgoing to make friends and make life in Mississippi enjoyable.

    Would I move back to Missouri? Yes. In a heart beat. But, I would also miss the experiences and friendships that we've made in Mississippi. Due to my husband's line of work, there is nowhere in Missouri that he could work, so we're going to have to be ok with living away from friends and family. It's hard, especially when all I want to do is call up my mom and go to lunch so we can catch up, but I'm thankful for what Mississippi has given us.

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  7. Oh man, this has been on my heart a lot lately. We moved from Kansas City to Phoenix for Cody's dental school. Our 4 years has flown by here and now we're about ready to move back to Missouri so Cody can practice with his dad. It's so bittersweet. We've grown to love this area. There are wonderful opportunities for young families where we live, I've made some great mommy friends outside of our dental school family. Not to mention the weather is amazing. I'm excited to be back closer to family but it will be a huge adjustment for me to move back to a small town after living in such a big metropolitan.

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  8. We live close to my parents so I can't even imagine what it must be like to go visit and imagine your life if you had stayed home....BUT.... you are living on your own, setting out into the world with your husband, and planting roots for your little family! You are right, God's plan is so much greater and better than we can ever come up with in our own spinning minds.

    Also.. Jon is in NOLA right now and I am jealous of all the yummy food he is eating. Next trip I am going with!

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  9. I can relate 100%! I have been away from home since I went away to college. However, it is WAY HARDER now that I have a daughter. I don't really miss my hometown, but it breaks my heart to know that she doesn't get to see her grandparents often enough.

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  10. Luckily, I haven't had to move away from my family because my mother and I are so incredibly close. We ALMOST made a decision to move to Boston for a possible job offer for my hubby. It was scary just thinking about it, but at the end of the day, the only I asked from God was to make sure whereever we were at that our relationship would be strong and ok at the end of the day. If He knew it wouldn't be, then let something happen so we wouldn't have to leave Houston. Well, what do you know....he didn't get the offer like we thought he would. We were both bummed because it was an amazing opportunity, but we knew God had a better plan for us :)
    In the end, just remember what home is where you are with your hubby :)
    Linh
    http://abeautifulrawr.com

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  11. I feel similarly. We have friends where we live, but it's not the same as family. The idea that we could see my parents all the time and I could bring my daughter to hang out with my SIL and niece all the time - I try to put those thoughts out of my head. Even things like date nights - it's such a hassle to orchestrate that they rarely happen now but if we lived by my parents, we could drop Lucia off at any time. Going through two miscarriages in the last six months really showed me how much we need family nearby because of these unforseen tragedies. We could have really used family to watch Lucia and help us around the house and just help us survive. But we got through it anyway with the help of a few friends, even though it was very difficult.

    Our choice wasn't so much a choice, but desperation after a year long job search for my husband and this being the only somewhat decent job on the horizon. It still doesn't stop me from crying sometimes.

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  12. oh britt thank you so much for sharing your heart and soul on this blog of yours. i love it. they are both beautiful and i love your vulnerability. i cant imagine the emotions you are feeling and the unsure nature of the future. but im so thankful that you have a sweet hubby and adorable baby girl to go through it all with. and im so so excited to have "met you" and cant wait to make it in real life when yall come to wilmy! xo

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  13. This perfectly relates to my post this week. :) Love you, friend!

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  14. Okay! I finally had a chance to read this!

    I have SO MANY feelings about this. My husband wanted to go far away for his residency (which he started two years ago) and I have to admit that I selfishly wanted to stay in the area because of how much I loved my job at a hospital nearby. He still had quite a few options within a 90 minute radius but he was definitely not extremely happy about the situation, but we all make sacrifices -- so we went with it. We are still living about 25 minutes from where we grew up and I have mixed emotions about it. Part of me wishes we went somewhere else and gave it a try, but with both of us working - we would have to rely on daycare providers whom we don't know or trust and that would be the death of me. I am so proud of you for sticking with it and getting used to your new town/area and you will be able to do the same with ease come next year, I know it. Maybe you guys want to come up to CT? I heard Yale is a great place to train ;)

    xoxo

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  15. Home is such a weird concept at certain stages in life!! Although my situation isn't about clinging to family it is about starting a family in a new place with new experience and that is SCARY even though I moved 12+ times as a kid! You are not alone girlfriend! HUGS HUGS HUGS hopefully our schedules will collide at some point and I get to turn internet hugs into real ones!!

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  16. Hi Britt! We've been following each other on IG, but I've just been getting back into reading/blogging and can't believe I've just stumbled upon you here! Aww… sweetie! {{{HUGS}}} on the hard day. I can't imagine what that is like. I've always lived in within an hour of where I grew up, so I actually have always dreamed of moving somewhere for a few years. I think it will be an amazing experience and memory when you look back on different pivotal moments in your lives and where you've been! Hope you're feeling better today!

    xx Viv @ joiedeviv.blogspot.com

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